ORION'S BELT

The lake was glassy. This crook and spot hidden from the winds that seemed to blow from the north most days. Well, most days meaning the three he had been here. He had a good feeling that once the black had been sufficiently burned away by whatever version of the sun that came up, the glass would be replaced with first ripples, and then possibly small waves. Glancing up he could see it was already starting to happen. He looked up and noticed the sky had begun its turn to deep navy from it's previous dark black and he noticed the line of three stars. The Belt of Orion.

Practically speaking, Orion's Belt and the Little Dipper began and ended the depth of his astronomy knowledge, though he had taken Astronomy 1001 his very last semester of college some 31 years ago. He learned the semester right prior to it's embark that he lacked one freshman science class to complete his "studies" and receive his diploma for a bachelors degree in history. He’d referred to himself as "an historian" over the past 35 years, a recurring joke to mark the squandered education. He regretted this, but also knew that his abilities to connect were developed during those years, his way of melding into different crowds and becoming a part.

This part was a lie though. He'd never committed. Never really gone all in on anything it felt like.

Maybe that's unkind.

Maybe he had never achieved mastery, or something that felt like control or complete ownership of any one skillset. He was the ultimate Jack of all, constantly convincing himself that his "way" wasn't worse than the standard way of doing anything. Just different. He also knows that at 54 years in, wholesale change is unlikely.

//

He glances back at the lake and the deep navy of the sky has a strip of orange running from left to right, as he's remembering it now he realizes that he thought he'd been facing west the whole time but that's 180 degrees wrong and an impossibility. He's spent 11 days turning the view of Orion's belt over in his mind and only now had that "wait a second, I thought that was facing west?" thought. This also means the winds were coming from the south.

Tomayto-tomotto.

He thinks back to the bustling walk through thousands of people in the predawn morning. The electric feel of group anxiety and stealing glances of a clear sky and one of two constellations he recognizes.

He wonders about the days of Ptolemy (he's pretty sure the "P" is silent) and the late bronze age when Orion was named. He thinks about the massive amounts of time ancient people had and wonders if they were bored often. Probably not. Boredom was probably invented in the 1920's or something. Ancient dudes were staring at the stars connecting dots and drawing imaginary sky lines. Modern dudes are consumed by a constant volley of urgent electronic messages that create another constant electric hum...of anxiety.

He thinks about April 8th, 1994 and the beach at the end of Pirate Ave. in Long Beach, MS. Of four or five friends who'd just seen the Smashing Pumpkins play at the Mississippi Gulf Coast Coliseum on the Siamese Dream tour; of a joint of low grade kitchen weed being passed around, ears still ringing. He remembers looking up and watching Orion's belt pass across the sky. Slowly twisting one way or another. It seemed to be racing across the sky, but that could’ve been the weed.

He looks back across this lake in Wisconsin, glances at the belt once more, lowers his eyes to the ground and keeps walking.

#hugsandhifives