The goal is to write every day. I can’t recall if 300 words is the number or if it's 500, but if I know me. It's 300. Therefore. obviously nothing leas than 500 will suffice. Them's the rules. I just work here.
It's 6:19 PM on Easter and by most levels of measurement, I could count today as a success. Coffee and hanging out in bed with my wife, three miles walking the dogs and core work, listening to an hour of a book I'd have bought and would be reading, but I stumbled upon it on Spotify and after being a third through it, this seems dumb. Writing training plans and catching up with my mom and son on the phone and then, cooking an elaborate taco lunch for my wife, daughter, father in law and I. Oh and two naps. The second caused by the cooking and the accompanying beers that it needed for fulfillment.
Days like today, when there isn't necessarily a schedule almost always make me feel like I've done nothing or that I am constantly looking to fill the moments with qualified activities. This is absurd but that makes it no less true.
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And still, at 6:19, I hadn't written today. This is 100% the victim of my trying to give myself "grace". To let an “easy” Sunday be just that. To not adhere to this thing in my head that tells me to "get all the chores done" before I do anything else. Me forcing myself to not to. To "relax".
Clearly I was loosey goosey all day.
I hate this about me, but I also love it. It's the thing that makes me hard to be around but also the thing that yields the best results. It's equal parts drive and guilt, a powerful elixir.
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And so. I sat down. And I started to write.
I told myself I'd steer clear of these types of things. These narrations of mundanity. Sometimes though, they are what get me started and sometimes they yield such gems as "narrations of mundanity" and regardless if the rest is drivel, that's the good stuff, and so, I'll allow it.
These types of posts(ugh!)? Writings? (that's being generous), frustrate me. Because of what I have decided is worthy of qualifying as "writing " and for all the other arbitrary rules of worth I apply to everything.
It's maddening.
But really, not everything has to be something grand, as hard as I try to make it be.
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To show the true power of my neurosis, "be", above was word 392 of this missive. 92 words further than the low bar, but clearly 108 to go. So I'll give you these two useless paragraphs to check the meaningless boxes of my psyche. No further fulfilled by the act of writing this than if I hadn't at all.
A large monkey pressing the buttons and getting the small hit of dopamine so he can move along to the next thing his monkey brains have decided he absolutely needs to do.
#hugsandhi5s
Rants are essential and shouldn't be dismissed as just checking a box. All those guys in the newspaper ("back in the days we had those") opinion section were essentially well paid "ranters"...... thank you for this one!!! Preach!