LETTING. IT. BE.

For the next 15 minutes I will live on this page.

I’ll let go of the rest. The rest will come no matter if I carve this out or not. The rest. Is. Coming.

For the next 15 minutes I will tell you a story.

I know that’s not true, but I’ll say it anyway as it never hurts to see if we can shed existing beliefs.

For the next 15 minutes I will write away the pull to optimize. To improve.

Surround myself with words and notes and everything ever after.

For the next 15 minutes I’ll try and not look at the clock.

12:11 to go.

For the next 15 minutes I’ll escape.

Into another world. That which I create? That which I join? This is naiveté.

For the next 15 minutes I’ll ignore creating more to-dos.

I stop, jot down three and return.

For the next 10:45, I’ll try and focus. One word, follows the next.

Failing to do so. Failing to do so. Failing to do so.

For the next 10 minutes, I’ll turn my life around.

I’ll become all the things I think and say I want to be. Turning it around and around and around.

For the next 9 minutes or so, I’ll consider the soundtrack of the morning.

The Weekenders, by The Hold Steady; Unsatisfied, by The Replacements; I WANNA BE ADORED, by The Stone Roses; when I was twenty, by FYR FYTR; In Little Ways, by Let’s Active.

For the next 8 minutes I’ll wish the lighting was better in my office.

I won’t do anything about it. I never do. But I think about it every single day.

For the next 7:12 minutes I’ll say I won’t leave this page to check on messages or emails.

I’ll look at both within 10 seconds.

For the next 5:37 I’ll hope for the best.

Well, for the next minute actually. There’s a next sentence, a next “For the next...” coming. Right now it appears.

For the next 4:51 I’ll just give in.

To what I am not sure, but I am going to do it 100%. Maybe even 110%, because when we are talking arbitrary superlatives, more is more. If we are giving in, we owe it to ourselves to really lean into it.

For the next 3:49 I’ll think about college.

About those days wasted. About those days spent living, and looking, for the things I am still looking for, and still not finding.

For the next 2:47 I’ll just stare at the counter and watch it count down.

Twelve twenty-nine, twelve twenty-eight, twelve twenty-seven...

For the next 1:51 I’ll think about how I’ll wrap this up.

Should it be clever? Willfully obtuse? Dramatic? All of the above?

For the next 1:11 I’ll just let it be.

This is me letting it be.

This is me letting it be.

This is me letting it be.

This. Is. Me. Letting.It.Be.

For the nex :09...

#hugsandhi5s