“You know what truth is? [...] It's some crazy thing my neighbor believes. If I want to make friends with him, I ask him what he believes. He tells me, and I say, "Yeah, yeah - ain't it the truth?”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions
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I highlighted, copied and pasted the list. Dutifully. These 8 things seemed important. I asked a question of the person who shared them for clarification. “To whom are we writing for?” I didn’t wait for the answer. A week or so after first seeing them I highlighted, copied, and pasted again. This time with an anecdote of a class I took in the second to last semester of my illustrious collegiate career. The halls bulging from my constant residence. The old professor a World War Two medic with the author who both survived and had a life in English, my professor as a crusty old teacher of hard boiled fiction, the brutal crime form, the other as a world renowned author, Kurt Vonnegut.
If I am coming clean, I have only read two Vonnegut works. One, a book, Breakfast of Champions, given to me by my friend David in 1990, and the second, a short story, Harrison Bergeron. One a take down of the American dream, the other a take down of the premise of equality. If one read no further we'd be lead to believe that Mr. Vonnegut specialized in take downs. At the least, dystopian political commentary in a costume of wry humor.
One of my most vivid memories of Breakfast of Champions was that it was written in 1973 and there was a feeling something similar to finding a book on your grandmother's bookshelf about it. An age to the paper, the point of view skewed by high gas prices and the remnants of Richard Nixon. It gave the book a historical feeling without really being historical at all. It felt pre-1980's. Before our great technological enlightenment. When there was such a thing as regular gas.
//
The list was a guide of sorts and as is customary, I realize now I accepted it as truth. I found it on the internet after all. Everything is true on the internet, especially if you find something someone has posted and accredited to someone else. How could it not be? Upon further googling this morning. This list appears to have been true. There's even YouTube videos of people telling me this. Again, how can it not be true?
To be fair I didn’t cross reference the list against the videos. I saw videos. Exhibits A and B. Veracity propped up.
//
If it feels like I am beating a dead horse, know I am trying hard to set this up right, or maybe I'm still searching for a bigger point; some sort of idea to pull it all together here. After a cursory glance I can see I have already broken some of the rules. One of which being to "get to the point". I think that's the thing.
I copied and saved the rules. I reshared them as rote. I've considered them, but this morning I realized I never really read or applied them to what I do here. To be fair, it's only been a week and I've only written a couple thousand words (sick brag!). Also, was I to go through everything I've ever written and edit to these rules? Would my work come out Vonnegut-esque?!
With a healthy dose of doubt, I go, highlight and copy the rules.
PASTE!!!
1. Don't waste your reader's time.
2. Give the reader a character to root for.
3. Every character should want something. Even if it's only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must either reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. Make awful things happen to your characters. Let readers see what they're made of.
7. Write to please just one person.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible.
Yesterday I added a 9th rule.
9. Write everyday.
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Upon further review there are things here I have accidentally employed. I feel I've simplified and stopped most of these missives when I should. Self editing.
I also realized that I don't seem to write the kinds of things that these rules apply to. They seem great for weaving fiction. Even so, I am very fond of one, five and six.
1. Because swift and brutal help make the point.
5. I really like jumping around in time.
6. Everyone's story has bad things. We want to hear these bad things and struggles. They normalize our version of life. Make it seem okay.
As a student of writing (okay this is a stretch) or at least as someone who wants to be better at it, I highlight, copy, and paste a lot of stuff to come back to. I almost never come back to it. Maybe this is where I want to arrive? To heighten my awareness and actually work at getting better at this. To add in a fourth and fifth step to "highlight, copy, and paste."
To revisit.
To apply.
#hugsandhi5s
Gotta work the process!! And you’re ahead of me—don’t think I ever read any Vonnegut.